Welcome!
Due to the fact that I’m sort of a self proclaimed jack of all trades, you could be here for any number of reasons. Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re here!
Recent Posts
Never Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Do Today
Tomorrow isn’t promised right? I’ve tried to focus on living that way but have been a little side tracked. It’s funny how the day to day work life can impede the life we actually enjoy living. My job recently changed and I went from working …
Happiness Isn’t Natural?
I know, some people seem naturally happy, but why are they and maybe we aren’t? Also, just out of curiosity, how is happiness defined?
I don’t really know if I comprehend what happiness truly is. Sometimes it seems like it’s just being present in the moment, every moment grows, and every moment has something shining in it. I think I could be considered a happy person, with some dark tendencies. The hunt for continuous improvement will forever be my life goal. Striving to be better, or maybe healthier is a better word, should be what we all strive for, if not for ourselves, but for the people we love. Have you seen videos that say “You would die for them, but would you live for them?” That’s something that has bounced around in my head for a while now. It’s easy for me to get sucked into a down spiral, only seeing and feeling the bad things, and I obviously don’t enjoy feeling like that, I’d rather “feel” happy.
I recently watched a video about ways to improve happiness. Some of the things I’ve heard before, but they were framed in a way that really sunk in for me. Hopefully me sharing them here helps you too. I’ll include the video link at the bottom so you can soak up the whole thing if you’d like. I learn by reflecting and trying, maybe you learn by listening.
Negativity Interruption
This really spoke to me. I’ve heard of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, as a way of helping to see the good but hearing it as an interruption was more helpful. When you’re stuck in a negative loop, sometimes it’s really hard to see the light. The strategy here, instead of aiming for a positive thought, find anything in your present moment to name, or call out in your brain.
Example: Nothing is right, I hate my life, this job sucks out my life force… Stop the thought… The sky is blue. There’s a car. There’s a bug. There’s my shoe.
The concept is that you are stopping the negative habit, and starting to build new pathways in your brain to start focusing on other things. That may not make you feel happy, but it helps alleviate some of that sadness. I believe it opens the door for goodness.
Deliberate Savoring
Savoring means holding onto it. Anyone else crunch the tootsie roll pop to get to the center? Everything is so fast now. Fast food, fast connections, fast video scrolling… It’s easy to have the good stuff just fly by. When we spend a lot of time focusing on the negative it burrows deep. It gets wired into our long term memories, in an effort to help keep us safe in the future. Darn that biased thought process. Happy thoughts require a lot more intention to implant deep memories. If we intentionally take time, 30 seconds at least, to soak in good events, they start to override that negative wiring. It’s important to savor the good things, no matter how small.
Example: The sun is warm on my skin. Sit there thinking about how it feels on my skin, the cozy feeling, the comfort, the peaceful and even safe feeling. Make a conscious effort to stick with that positive emotion for 30 seconds.
The more you do it, the easier it is to unconciously see the positive in your daily life.
Intentional Play
I believe this is the MOST IMPORTANT take away.
Going to my first music festival in 2022 opened my world back up to play in a new way. You’d think being a parent would have helped me stay connected to that, but honestly, I became so focused on the tasks of home, work, and order, that I lost touch with my playful side. Having moved away from the Portland silly scene has moved me a little back from how often I play in my favorite ways.
When all we are focused on is business, it’s hard to find joy. As adults we are actually hurting ourselves by not playing. We need to be intentional about making time for fun. Did you know that during play multiple brain regions activate at the same time? Parts of our brains that run creativity, social bonding, emotional regulation, and even our long term memory consolidation light up simultaneously. Our prefrontal cortex which controls our rational thinking, emotional regulation and the ability to experience positive emotions, is strengthened with play time. Play literally helps us feel more joyful. Our brains need stimulation!
Example: What is something you did as a kid that you enjoyed? I’ll share some of the things I enjoy, rollerskating, painting, picking flowers and smooshing them in a book, horseshoes, board games, making things like friendship or hemp bracelets, dancing, playing with my poi, blowing bubbles and especially playing with my grand babies… Maybe you enjoy making music, building stuff, there are so many different ways to play.
SCHEDULE 30 minutes every week, non-negotiable, and do one of those things. Play shouldn’t be something that you’re doing with a goal in mind, like perfecting guitar, it should be playyyyy! Bonus points if you get to be silly. More bonus points if you do it with friends or family.
Have you put it in your schedule yet? No? I’ll wait for you to do so. I’d love to hear what you’re going to do for play this next week!
Check the original video here. 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
Oregon… I don’t understand your logic.
I recently started avoiding any kind of political talk, but this time… I’m working on building my confidence to share my unfiltered self more…
Non-Conformist ~ An Art Piece Dedicated to Me and You
Just a little insight to my creative experience making this painting. I hope you enjoy a little more of my vulnerability.
FOMO
Fear of missing out….
Okay, hear me out. I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, and wishing we were there, or wishing we weren’t where we are. But why?
I spent a lot of time last year hurting because my divorce took me away from a lot of my old routines. It made me feel like I was no longer a part of my kids lives, part of that was connected to being an empty nester. I even felt like I was missing out on all of the fun my ex and I used to have together. I had gotten it into my head that I wasn’t able to do things on my own, or that I wasn’t actually capable of my own fun, even though I am a naturally independent person.
Last week was a family member’s birthday and the memories of an event we spent together popped up on my Facebook memories. Love and hate those sometimes! The realization was that I was able to share those pictures with the active parties and not feel sad that I was missing out on this year’s festivities was a great feeling. It’s really hard to see my growth until something like that happens. I did some thinking around all of that and had some realizations. I’ve been big on reframing my thought processes around the past and what I want for the future, so I thought I’d share how my brain came to understand why I feel okay now versus last year per say.
What are you missing out on?
A lot of what hurt me last year was the hopes I had for the future. Realistically speaking, the things I was sad about weren’t even my past reality. I was missing the life I wanted, and not really missing how life was before. I think a lot of FOMO is related to that kind of thinking. That happy photo or thing you are missing out on was a fraction of a second in comparison to the grand scheme of things, or maybe even just posed as a grandiose thing.
A question for you, when you see things happening in your social feeds, what is the thing you’re actually sad about? Are you missing the connections? Are you jealous of the activity? Do you feel unchosen?
What do you really desire?
I love doing things, going places, being with my people, laughing and having a good time. Realistically speaking, the fun photo memory had a lot of not good attached to it. The behind the scenes included arguing, being sad, not being sober, and genuinely not feeling good about myself. Being at that event wasn’t good for me, or my family. It didn’t help my marriage at the time, it just fed into a lot more insecurity and angst.
So what do or did I really want? I want to go play and connect with my family. I want to feel good and know that my actions are aimed at my true north and following thru to that. The me that I want to present to the world, isn’t that old person. So why would I miss out on things that don’t sing to my soul anymore?
Knowing you’re experiencing FOMO, and realizing what it is you actually want is helpful.
How do you act on that?
Live the life you want. Believe me, I know it’s harder than just that. We spend so much time doing what we think other’s expect of us that we neglect our soul satisfying life. We go out drinking even if we know it is actually bringing our day to day down. More times than I can count, I went out and partied all night, then didn’t go out and hike like I’d planned the next morning. Fail. The acting has a lot to do with what you are willing to live with, connected to where you find peace as yourself.
Saying no is okay. Make the plans you want. If you want to go watch the sunset, and someone asks you to do something else, you already have plans, stick to them. #boundaries Your people are advocating for themselves, it’s okay to advocate for yourself too. Side note, it is okay to ask for a moment to decide what you really want when you’re invited to do something, and then get back to them. Take the time to reflect on what actually brings you more joy. Are you afraid you’ll upset someone? Is what they want more important than your want? Are you just scared you’ll miss out on something crazy? Will it really impact you in a positive way? You do you boo.
My biggest realization has come through focusing on the positives in my life. I love where I live now, even if it’s not a quick drive to see family. I actually talk to my kids more now than I did when I lived there, I still miss them like crazy. I am spending more time creatively. I was able to go to Costa Rica last month. My job is even pretty fun, even if I’d like to make more money doing it. I even have a goal to beat that income with my photography. Change is good.
Initially finding this for myself felt like a betrayal to my family. Now though, I FEEL more balanced as myself than I have ever felt in my life. I drinking a lot less and less often, maybe I’ll quit someday but I haven’t fully committed to that yet.
I am going to continue fighting for me and I hope you will start to fight for yourself too.
Finding Stillness
It’s easy to lose ourselves in the busy. Costa Rica time may be different than real world time, but it’s still important to find still moments.
Everywhere the light touches is our home.
Yesterday was brutal, and I almost missed snorkeling because I was chasing comfort. I chose to go anyway, and I was rewarded with sights I would have never seen from my phone screen. Why do we let a little discomfort dictate our lives? It’s time to break free.
The Twelfth Month .2025.
and that’s a wrap!
Funny story… I was very intentional about bringing my new journal with me because I wanted to journal on our trip to Costa Rica. I made sure to finish out my thoughts on the year as a whole in my old one because I had planned to write this post while I’m down here. For the sake of trying to downsize my amazing ability to overpack, I decided to leave the journal. Fail. BUT, because I don’t want to accept failure, I found another way. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and I take a lot of photos, so I’m using them to reflect.
Last year, December, was probably one of the most heart breaking months of my life. For over 18 years, my life identity circled around being a wife and mother. Being out on my own with none of that was hard. Granted, I was still a mother, but having an empty nest in the midst of getting divorced felt life shattering. Yet, from the ashes I rose. Looking back at where I was then and where I am now, I feel more myself than I have felt since before I graduated high school. That’s over 20 years ago, oof. Getting back into creativity, and striving to find growth on all levels, has really helped me to find my light again. I am so grateful to my family for stepping up and supporting me through the darkness, and even just being there to hold me when I cried. I like to think I’m an introvert but I definitely thrive with human connection. If I hadn’t made the effort to continue working with a therapist, and stayed intentional about learning new healthy habits, who knows where I’d be. Sometimes we have to lean on others, and be open minded to really be able to break out of our shells.
This month was very beautiful. I started with the intention of continuing to find creative time, being intentional about reading every day, and also trying to be intentional about building a village in my new home.
Creativity
I got to find creative time with photograph, baby blankets, paint nights, sewing projects, Christmas activities with my love, doodling and even practicing writing down my thoughts in creative ways. While the month felt short, due to travel days and being out of my comfort zone, I am very content with how much I did. I honestly can’t wait to get back home to my sewing machine. The sewing projects brought me the most joy, learning, and even built my confidence. If you put your mind to it, and practice, you can learn to do almost anything! Did you know that learning new things helps give you dopamine hits, that help you want to seek out more learning, or even help chase new goals?
Reading
Poetry has always been a love of mine. I reread 3 of my Atticus poetry books, read one by a newer artist, and even found a random poetry book at the thrift store to read. Reading about love through other peoples expression of theirs, or even their heartbreak, helps me to process my own love and heal too.
I also continued to read the Good Vibes book. As of today (01.05.2026), I only have probably 20 pages left, and I will likely read it all over again while I’m away from home. I want to really absorb it, and think I might try to reflect on each section. Don’t hold me to that one though, the beach is a very distracting place. 😅
I even started picking daily affirmation cards again. I really enjoy reading positive things to help spark positive thinking early in the day. And also reading my little horoscope has been an interesting perspective to take me out of my brain hole.
Below are some of the thoughts that really spoke to me this month.
Connection
My daughter was the inspiration for this one. Being a long ways from home makes it easy to feel disconnected, or maybe it just inspires FOMO. Either way, she suggested on Mondays we send each other three pictures from our week. I have missed my little grand babies, and my own babies of course, and this has been a great way to help me be intentional about staying in communication with her. Side note, if anyone else in my family wants to do this with me, shoot me a message, I love you too.
It also helped me to remember it’s good to build connections where I’m at. I love that bartending allows me to meet new people, I can’t say that they are all positive experiences, but I enjoy being a shiny spot with people I meet. I have met some really fun people this last month, remembering peoples names is so important for building relationships with customers, and helping to ensure they come back. Being new to the area, makes communicating a great way to get in the know of happenings in the area too. While I’m loving the sun, I will be excited to continue fostering connections, and maybe even find people who inspire my continued growth in this life. Part of that is going to be learning to be consistent and building actual friendships that I can lean on there too. It’s really easy to just spend time with my love because we genuinely enjoy our time together, but it’s good to get out of your bubble and understand the perspectives of others outside of our digital screens.
Did I mention I became a Grandma for the third time this month?!? Goodness, they’re all soooo cute, even if they cry and runaway. Lol!
My Resolution?
I’m in goal mode, not chasing the unattainable. Also continuing to build on my healthy mind and health as a whole. Kind of funny how life seems to go full circle and balance out the things we find passion in. What is my biggest goal you ask? I’m sharing it like it’s happened because I plan to #manifestthatshit and believing is the first step!
I’ve replaced my bartending income with my photography, and other creative adventure income.
I plan to keep journaling of course, because that has been a huge blessing for me. So far it has been my gratitude practice, pulling an affirmation card, pulling a Woodland Wardens card, along with my thoughts on those things. I’m trying to find new ways to break through old mind barriers. Finding my more confident self, and learning constantly. I’m sure I’ll find new things to incorporate, why not right?
My daughter, again inspiring me, is doing a BINGO card with things to do and check off this year. It sounds like a fun way to challenge myself to try some new things, and even commit to some better habits. I’ve really had a pull to start meditating again, I think that will be top of the card. You can see her TIKTOK about it HERE, I might be a little proud, and also hope you are inspired too.
Anyone else feeling like 2026 is going to be the best year yet???
November .2025.
The Month of Thanks This is always a month of gratitude practice in the world. I think that’s pretty great. How perfect is it to encourage focusing on the good things in our lives, especially in the season that usually sparks depression in the world. …
October 2025
October has always been a month that seems to fly by because it’s been a month full of things that bring me joy. My son was born October 5th, and of course Halloween. This year, the 13th, which should have been my anniversary, was a …