Welcome!
Due to the fact that I’m sort of a self proclaimed jack of all trades, you could be here for any number of reasons. Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re here!
Recent Posts
FOMO
Okay, hear me out. I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, and wishing we were there, or wishing we weren’t where we are. But why?
Finding Stillness
Our worlds seem to always be busy. Always going or distracted by our devices, constantly stimulated by really uninspiring stuff. I know for myself, personally, it’s very anxiety inducing.
There are really only two positives to social media for me. One is that I can see what my people are up to, which is really just a lazy way to “have a relationship” with them. Two is that I can see all different styles of art to help expand my creativity, which is the easy way to not go to art museums, or even learn from artists locally. Connecting and disconnecting have been hugely on my mind this last week. I have been out of the country and unless I’m at our place, or connected to wifi, my phone has only been my camera or a source of music. Do you remember the world when we left our homes and no one could reach us until we got back? The time of snail mail? Hand written letters? I realized this Christmas that kids don’t even write notes to each other in school anymore. I wrote a note to my son’s girlfriend and folded it all fun like I did when I wrote notes to my friends in school, she had no idea how to refold it. As a creative person that blows my mind. Is our world going to be only creating thru AI? If we aren’t teaching our children to do things on their own, use their hands, problem solve, what is that going to do to their brains down the road? Science has shown that learning new things is good for keeping our brains working. I’m terrified of dementia, and know that numbing my mental space is not productive for preventing that.
The Covid Era
I mean, what a crazy time right? Obviously that time period had lasting impacts on our kids, and how the world now operates. It is sad that a virus separated our community connections to a point I’m unsure it can be repaired. We are so disconnected from our neighbors, our families, really just humanity in general. Kinda makes me wonder, what the disconnecting factor was that allowed WWII to happen… Okay back to the positive.
One bright thing that came from all of that for me, it helped me to slow down a little bit. Finding joy in the quiet, not feeling like I needed to be in a hurry everywhere, aside from my job because we were so understaffed, helped me find some peace. I’ve said it before, everything I’ve experienced has brought me to here. I love hiking and before covid, I was very focused on finishing the grueling hike. How fast could I get my mile time to? Could I get out and back before dark? I missed so many of the little things. Now? I see the little snails, the micro mushrooms, the pretty swirls in ferns as they grow. Sure the exercise was great, and it still is, just differently. Slowing down on my hikes has not only helped me feel more connected to nature, but also more grounded and calm.
Finding the quiet
Snorkeling this last month has shown me that the still allows me to see more. If I am swimming thru looking at the rocky spots, sure, I’ll cover distance, but stopping, breathing, and waiting allows the fish to see I’m not a predator. They start venturing from their hiding spaces and getting back to fishy business. The still is when I get to see the most wonders of the sea.
I’ve been at the beach almost every morning here. It’s a 20 minute walk, holding hands, chatting, hearing the birds. Then it’s usually another hour on the beach, watching the waves, dancing with my poi, watching my love surf, and sitting with my thoughts. Then another 20 minutes back home. A day at home may not realistically allow such a large window to start the day, but it has been good for my soul to connect with my human, and to connect with myself. Even on our walks, taking it slow, and seeing the different kinds of flowers, and sea shells, rocks, little crabs. I’d miss those things if I tried to hurry there.
Investing in yourself is also a great way of slowing down. Read, learn something new, meditate, dance alone, journal, be creative. I’ve been focused on enjoying my surroundings here in Costa Rica, but intend to continue that push when I get home. Focusing on journaling in the mornings has been good for me, and pulling an affirmation card has been a great spark of internal reflection but also starting my day out with a positive mindset.
Challenge?
I’d like to encourage you to slow down and find the quiet again, with no distractions. Find time by yourself. Find time with your kids. Find time to connect to the person next to you in line. Find time to reflect and see what truly brings you joy.
Where is your favorite quiet place? Or something that has brought stillness and peace into your life?
Everywhere the light touches is our home.
Yesterday was brutal, and I almost missed snorkeling because I was chasing comfort. I chose to go anyway, and I was rewarded with sights I would have never seen from my phone screen. Why do we let a little discomfort dictate our lives? It’s time to break free.
The Twelfth Month .2025.
The last month of this year was pretty great. I can’t help but wonder if anyone else is feeling like 2026 is going to be the best year yet???
November .2025.
The Month of Thanks
This is always a month of gratitude practice in the world. I think that’s pretty great. How perfect is it to encourage focusing on the good things in our lives, especially in the season that usually sparks depression in the world. I have to say that reading through my journal this month made my heart smile. I spent a lot of time focusing on things that bring me joy.
Number one this month has been creative expression. Number two has probably been learning new techniques and growing my ability to work on more advanced projects. Number three, has definitely been my biggest supporter cheering me on through every step of my creative projects, and even helping me when my sewing machine was being problematic.
I’m only going to include one of my journal entries because I think they are important for understanding the closure and self acceptance I found this month.
Editing these photos sang to my creative soul. I truly hope to see them on someone’s walls someday. There’s so much beauty in transforming, even the transformation of death. Death of a bad habit. Death of a relationship. Death of self doubt.
If you try, you might fail, but if you don’t try, you’ll never succeed. -Thomas A. Knight
Intention: More Creative Time 🤍
If you checked out last month’s post, you probably saw that I decided to start a monthly intention. So far it’s totally paying off.
- 1st- Finished sewing in moon box
- 2nd- Filled hinge holes I can reset the hinges
- 3rd- Filled gap under hinges and edited photos from deer hunting
- 4th- Finished Rick’s painting
- 6th- Finished my moon box
- 7th- Organized my bathroom with cute bear cubbies. I love cute stuff
- 10th- Brainstormed Troy’s jacket
- 11th- Picked out some fabric and landed on a design
- 12th- deconstructed and laid out jacket design, actually really stoked
- 15th- Started sketching the design on Paige’s gift
- 16th- Finished drawing the flowers on it
- 17th- Worked on baby Harley’s blanket
- 18th- Paint night with my lovey
- 20th- Cut out snowflakes and took drink photos for work
- 21st- Helped decorate work
- 23rd- Started cutting template for jacket, feels good to see it laid out
- 26th- Painted windows at work
- 29th- Recut baby blanket fabric
- 30th- Finished her blanket and made some bracelets
I’m hoping to share some of these creative endeavors with you, but some of them won’t be given to the recipients when I finish this up, so I’ll be posting my finished up projects videos on my instagram. So excited to be gifting pieces of my soul to my people.
November 23rd
This almost year long journey has been a ride. I’ve started reading “Good Vibes, Good Life,” by Vex King. It has opened my mind with just the introduction… Everything in my life, whether it’s good or bad, has brought me here. I’ve been able to find self-love, and realize that it’s okay to love my shadow and want to be better. I don’t hate my past life, but I sure as fuck don’t want to repeat it.
Finishing things has always been hard for me. Especially when it comes to a creative thing. Perfection is hard. Finishing Rick’s Painting felt soooo good. Wanting to do more creative things, also finishing my moon box, was important for keeping that positive momentum.
I realized that finishing Troy’s jacket is rather healing. Hard because I have been reflecting on life a lot, but feels good to see the shift in my mindset. Feels good to know the divorce is moving forward, even if I still have sad feels about the failure and hurt that came from it. Finishing his coat feels like a positive note to end our marriage on. Feels almost like a skeleton leaving the closet and I am happy to be rid of it. Also feels like I am keeping my word. I said I’d finish it, and I will.
Having a partner who loves me where I’m at and also wants what’s best for me feels amazing. Tonight we talked about our regrets. Mostly parenting stuff and our selfish moments connected to all of that. It feels good to share those things so openly with someone without judgement, and to know that he feels safe enough to share his vulnerabilities with me too. It really is a beautiful thing to want a future with someone who wants the same things in life. Someone who is patient with me, and also pushes me to push past my bullshit. I may not be psychic but I can’t see my future without him in it. It’s the trips to the gym, cooking dinner together, the Sunday drives out into nature, the laughter and the love I’ve always hoped for in a partner.
Maybe it’s my self acceptance that finally allowed the person I wanted to show up.
If I’d have met him any sooner than I did, I know I wouldn’t have been ready for him.
Love is a mysterious, amazing thing. <3
Must Read Book
Good Vibes, Good Life: How self-love is the key to unlocking your greatness. By Vex King
I barely made it thru the introduction of this book and felt inspiration to look for greater than the past. I love that this book has small digestible chapters. It’s really only a few pages to get to a meaningful message. My place of reading has mostly been on the elliptical and I typically spend 15 minutes there. Part of that time is spent editing photos, but it is started with reading. The reading really helps me to think about the things that don’t matter when I’m aiming for creativity. We spend too much time worrying about what others think of us, and we end up neglecting what truly brings us peace and happiness.
October 2025
October has always been a month that seems to fly by because it’s been a month full of things that bring me joy. My son was born October 5th, and of course Halloween. This year, the 13th, which should have been my anniversary, was a …
The Hunter’s Month – September 2025
Two months in Wyoming, and here comes the real test… Rick is headed to elk camp, for the month. Holy fuck nugget! Thank goodness for Starlink. 😅 I decided to put my gratitude with every post because I had a lot of hard feeling this …
August 2025
Okay, what the heck??? We are already in the eighth month of the year and I’m not sure how to feel about it. It seems as though life has evolved so significantly in the last bit of time that it seems unrecognizable to what it was in the past. I’m here for it!
This month’s theme has been intentionality. Being intentional about settling in, soaking up quality time, and preparing for the future.
My apologies for the chaos of this post. My attention has been scattered with so much good stuff!
August 1st
Gratitude: Calm mornings, paint time, blog time, reflecting, snuggles, my guy in his chonies, Star play time, meal prep, horses, and outdoor plans.
(((Reflection from September… That gratitude list, fuck yeah! That is my happy heart place. My person, my creativity, people/creatures that mean to world to me, and nature. Feels good to feel good.)))
The 2nd
Hike day after a late night shift last night. I love hiking with Rick. We both enjoy being out there which makes the time an even bigger recharge than going solo. There were pools of water in the rocks, it was cold as hell, but you bet your sweet ass I got in.
The 5th
Bruh! Sicky-icky! After having a fever and laying in bed for two days, I’m finally feeling a little alive again. I really enjoyed our Saturday hike and I’m really hopeful that we get to spend some time in the sun tomorrow. Maybe go paddle board and do some yard work?
The 6th
Yard work. Dinner. Drinks. Live music. 💗
DOPAMINE HIT!
Gratitude –> Old Music
It’s amazing how much old tunes that I’d forgotten about can be thrown into a remix and made new, but still bring out the same joy the OG song did. Sometimes reinventing the wheel isn’t necessary, although sometimes a new creative expression makes it land different. The band we watched tonight, played this song and a plethora of others. I loved the REM version, but Unified Highway did it justice. While I can appreciate that artists don’t want their creative expression changed, I can also appreciate that someone else was able to tweak it for their own feeling.
The 10th
👇🏻Be warned… Mushy af below.👇🏻
. I feel at peace .
. The full body sensation .
. The kind words can’t really describe .
. So this is what it’s like? .
I like it 🤍
Waking up to Rick climbing back into bed to be close to me. His skin on mine, hearing his heart beat, his breath. Hypnotizing. It’s euphoric first thing in the morning. Almost feels like nothing could go wrong as long as I’m with him. Just kissing today, felt like we are really in sync. I think this is what love is supposed to be. If I thought I was hooked on it before, I definitely am with him. <3
The 11th
🖤 Live the life you imagine. 🖤
Coffee cup quote. Seems so simple, yet so valid. You have to take action to get to where you want to be.
My book “Breaking the Habit…” talked about how our guilt can be like a substance. We can become dependent on an emotional feeling, or thought process, due to the chemical reaction our brains give off. The longer we stay in the negative thought process, the more our bodies store physical responses to the process and then essentially our brains are no longer in a thinking mode. It has become a subconscious response, like muscle memory. I was stuck in my guilt for so long. It took therapy and finally forcing myself to step out of the cycle of shit behavior, and even allowing positive people in my life to allow me to see the good in me, to be able to break that loop. Growth is wild.
The 17th – Death March Day 😅
We were supposed to do the hike up to Ian’s hunt spot but our adventure was derailed by two, yes more than one, grizzly bear! They decided to cross the path we were going to take on the way up so we decided to go back down and leave early for camping. I sure love being outside and not feeling rushed to do things. Nature is such a beautiful thing.
The 18th – Bucking Mule Falls 5 miles
I love that all of our memories together make me smile. I’m definitely a fan of smooth hiking paths over the bushwhacking ones. I like that we connect over spending time outdoors and wanting to be able to identify plants. I love him.
Coming back from our hike, I love that we were able to talk and decide together what we wanted to do next. Both of us are pretty flexible. We had grilled cheese sandwiches, which he made on the camp grill. Yum! Then we had s’mores again, and he cooked the perfect marshmallow, I think I’ll keep him. He always somehow gets food on his face and I absolutely loved snapping a photo of marshmallow on his face. We laugh. It feels so good to laugh so much.
It’s amazing how much feeling at peace in life inspires creativity, and at the same time the lows do too. It’s all about being able to see the contrast between the two I think.
The 22nd – Damien and Kenae’s baby shower
Shooooot, emotions. Happy was the largest today. It had been over a year since all three of my children were in one place. There was tequila, and yes, there were tears… Phew. How is it that my kids have wild baby showers, or is it just me that’s wild?
The 28th
Gratitude: Morning snuggles, my Love, I have a job, silly doggy, sexy time, easy hair days, chickens sounds outside, sunshine, lovely yard, sweatpants 🙂
The trip home was more than I expected. I found comfort and a little sadness. I wasn’t sure how it would affect coming home. I did feel a little off to start, but day 2 here and everything feels as good, if not better than it did before. He holds me right. Like a big snuggly bear that understands my heart, and he leaves space for my feelings. I’m not really excited for hunting season. I’m going to miss him. Makes me emotional just thinking about it. We are prepping for his hunt today and he realized he hadn’t thought about food for me for when I visit. I told him he didn’t have to worry about me, his response was that he does, that I worry about him. It’s what we do. Having someone who cares about me, as much as I care about him… swoon.
The 29th
He leaves for elk camp tomorrow… But today, old photos. I love that he entertains my silly wants. Plus a night at the rodeo. Quality time. #chefskiss
Media of the Month
You know I love music. I also love books, podcasts, and just about anything else I can listen to that puts positive stuff in my brain hole. I learned that Spotify Premium has ALL of those things. The book that I’m still reading is also an audiobook. Maybe that will help me get to the end?
I’ve already finished this book, not sure if you’ve read it or not, but it’s a good one too. I tried to embed the other one but it didn’t wanna pop up. I appreciate a good visual, so this is the link you get. 😉
Busy = Slow to Post
September’s post is coming quick!!!
July .2025.
I was supposed to be out fighting fire, but life had different plans… July 1st If I don’t get called out to a fire in two weeks, I might just pack up and go there before October… It might be wreckless but… I’d rather go …
Gemini Month B*tches .2025.
Birthdays are a mother f’er. Nothing like feeling older to help give you a swift kick in the direction of motivation. Seeing that life keeps on going, makes me want to keep on growing. Keep finding all the things that bring me joy and continue …