Welcome!
Due to the fact that I’m sort of a self proclaimed jack of all trades, you could be here for any number of reasons. Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re here!
Recent Posts
Oregon… I don’t understand your logic.
I recently started avoiding any kind of political talk, but this time… I’m working on building my confidence to share my unfiltered self more…
Non-Conformist ~ An Art Piece Dedicated to Me and You
This started as a practice piece for another larger project, and evolved into a lot more. I’ll add the planned piece sketch and then continue from there…
I started that piece July 28th, 2024. Wow, I can’t believe it’s been that long. It stemmed from me realizing how many masks I had worn. Octopus are fascinating creatures and the thought of being able to use their arms to hold all of that seemed fitting.
We all start as little innocent and curious children, and then life twists us. I’ve always been a creative, silly person, and somewhere along the way, I lost that. I had to become the protector of my kids, a provider, usually the no parent(IYKYK), the errand runner, the person who kept everything in check for everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, you can still be a mom and be yourself, but I didn’t make time for that. I made everyone but myself a priority, and I also made sure to keep myself so busy that I didn’t allow myself to have time to discover, or rediscover, the things that are me.
Seeing that sketch again makes me very excited to get started on it again.
The Evolution of Non-Conformist
I started this piece on November 2nd, 2024. This and the other practice piece of a nesting doll, were started on two canvases that I found sitting outside next to the recycling bin of my old apartment complex. They were some sort of commercial print someone probably bought as a set to decorate their place. As an artist, supplies are spendy! I saw those canvases as an item I could repurpose. Even more now than ever, I believe that we should be doing everything we can to save things from the landfill.
Obviously this painting started out very dark, after spending so much time under water and feeling so light and free there, I knew that I had to lighten up the background. The blue over the purple gave a different depth that I am very pleased with. One thing I have learned with painting, is that nothing is forever. If you hate it, put a happy tree on it, thank you Bob Ross. Being able to paint over fuck ups, and give things new life, is realistically a life lesson. Stuff happens, and if you continue to beat yourself up for it, you never get to see the shiny growth that comes from it.
After the third day in a row of working on this piece… I was SOOOOO over the suction cups! I found a hack to make it quicker tho. Instead of mixing the paint for every tentacle, I made four big batches to work with from dark to light. Then every two tentacles, I added more white. Instead of having to mix all the time, and having to paint one at a time, I busted the last 6 tentacles in the amount of time I took me to do two the day before. It’s the small victories, and the practice that makes painting every time easier. Plus the extra paint from that I was able to use for touch ups, and even the spot I somehow missed in the bottom corner.
Creative Setbacks
December of 2024 my husband asked for a divorce, that really allowed me to dig into finding myself again. A curse with a blessing really. I started getting into painting and being creative again. Most of it was journalling and most of it was shared on this site. Thank you for listening to me by the way. The biggest set back to this piece, it was in storage for a year. The blessing from that, I wasn’t really ready to paint it until now.
I ended up spending some time with someone who I deem to be insanely talented at painting. We were talking about how disposable art has become and he said something about how art should be something that moves people. Honestly, it put me back into my insecure box. It made me believe that no matter what I create, my art will just end up in the trash one day, which is ultimately heart breaking. That is part of why knowing that this piece is on a canvas that was doomed for a landfill, is joyful for me. We should all really do our part to minimize our impact on this beautiful planet, and the beautiful creatures that live in it. I even left the back parts of the canvas with the original print on it so who ever decides to give it a home can see my commitment to doing so.
BUT I want to set something straight. Art is meaningful to who ever is creating it. To think that you have to be a Pablo Picasso or a Frida Kahlo to be able to do something artistic, in my opinion is garbage. Being able to paint, sew, sketch, color, or even collage, has been extremely therapeutic for me. Even in high school it was an outlet I needed. So don’t let someone who is extremely talented discourage you. Play and create, bring joy in to the world with the energy you are putting out with that. Bonus points if you upcycle stuff❣️Just remember, everyone has to start somewhere, the process is the best part.
Art Imitates Life
January 3rd thru February 7th, I was blessed with a beautiful time away with my lovey in Costa Rica. My most favorite thing to do while we were away was snorkel. My most favorite thing to see while snorkeling was Octopus. After I thought I saw one, I made it my mission to see one every time I was out. They are fascinating creatures! Another reason I feel the octopus is so great for my original sketch, is because they are masters of camouflage. They can also squeeze themselves thru the tiniest holes. Fitting right? Hide yourself, and make yourself small… NO MORE!
After being back home in Wyoming for a bit, I decided to watch a documentary on Netflix called My Octopus Teacher. I was hoping it would help me fall asleep, but I ended up staying up past midnight… OMG, I became even more obsessed with Octopus. If you love animals and the ocean, this is a must watch documentary. It’s always funny to me that people can’t see how intelligent animals really are. That is part of why I’ve been a vegetarian for most of my life.
That show is what got me excited to bust this canvas back out.
Side note, if you know a tattoo artist who could create a bomb addition of an octopus to my ocean side, I’d be over joyed… Preferably one in Wyoming, more precisely one less than a 3 hour drive from Powell.
Dedication
The reason this piece is dedicated to me and you… It is way too easy to get stuck in bad habits. Easy to conform and be what everyone else wants from you. What about what you want? Maybe you want to dress in funky clothes and blow bubbles out your car window. No? Just me? Well, what ever it is that brings your heart joy, don’t deny it, within reason I suppose. Sometimes stepping outside of the box and letting your camouflage down is hard, but finding peace in yourself, as yourself, worth every uncomfortable second.
Last note… Non-Conformist is on the market for $600 if you’d like to me to ship it your way. As a selling point, it will be a one and only. I’m not going to do any prints because she means so much to me as she is. For now, I’ll enjoy having her hang on the wall in my art room. 🐙
FOMO
Okay, hear me out. I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, and wishing we were there, or wishing we weren’t where we are. But why?
Finding Stillness
It’s easy to lose ourselves in the busy. Costa Rica time may be different than real world time, but it’s still important to find still moments.
Everywhere the light touches is our home.
Something that has been popping up for me this month has been how beautiful it is here, in Costa Rica. It’s been almost three weeks, and I’m realizing that while I’m on vacation, the life I’m living here can really be lived anywhere. Maybe I can’t go walk out in Wyoming in my bikini every morning, but I can put on my long johns and go for a walk in the mountains… I can choose joy.
Perspective is everything.
Sunshine and sand sure feel inviting. What about the quiet in the woods, when the snowflakes float peacefully to the ground? I know that seasonal depression is a real thing, it’s a thing that I struggle with. Honestly, I hope that every year I’ll be able to have a tropical reset like this one. A lot of the habits that have been present on this trip, are ones that I know help keep me sane during the sad season.
I saw a post recently where a dad stated that he never complains about the weather. Him and his kids go out in all of the weather. If I wake up and look at the weather, and it’s raining, I’m a lot less likely to go outdoors. If it’s windy, same. If it’s freezing, again, likely to stay snuggled up in my sweat pants and a cozy blanket. Why? Is my life goal to be on my phone seeing others live their lives? No. I want to see, and live all the things. Why do I let a little discomfort dictate that? Yesterday was a sweltering one. I almost stayed in and missed snorkeling. I chose to go instead, and I was rewarded by seeing three creatures I hadn’t seen yet while doing so. Did I get a little sun burnt, yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I chose to be uncomfortable, but I chose to live.
I forget how easy it is to pack a thermos. How easy it is to bundle up, or throw on some rain gear and gloves. Shoot, there are even heated vests and things now that are cheaper than a bottle of tequila…
Break the comfort bubble already.
It’s easy to let our patterns lead our life. We continuously cycle back around to the things we know, even if they aren’t really what we want. Looking back at my life, it seems like I’ve learned this lesson a thousand times. In 2014, I completed my first Spartan Race. My biggest takeaway from that was getting through the uncomfortable makes the other hard things seem to be easier to get through. There is almost always something brighter at the end of the tunnel, you just have to be willing to look for it. Here I am in 2026, realizing the same ish again. All the crummy stuff I’ve been through led me to this place, and I have to say I’m happier than I’ve been in a very, very, long time.
I’m going to continue soaking up the rest of my time here, maybe with a little extra sunscreen today, but I’m excited to get home and continue living my life how I want it lived.
How about you? How do you want to live your life?
The Twelfth Month .2025.
The last month of this year was pretty great. I can’t help but wonder if anyone else is feeling like 2026 is going to be the best year yet???
November .2025.
The Month of Thanks This is always a month of gratitude practice in the world. I think that’s pretty great. How perfect is it to encourage focusing on the good things in our lives, especially in the season that usually sparks depression in the world. …
October 2025
October has always been a month that seems to fly by because it’s been a month full of things that bring me joy. My son was born October 5th, and of course Halloween. This year, the 13th, which should have been my anniversary, was a reminder that my marriage had failed. To be honest, I really thought it would be a hard day, and it wasn’t. The work I’ve put in this year has helped me to think more rationally, and the life I’m living now feels like it’s the one I was supposed to be living. It’s definitely the one I want to live.
I’ve been journaling consistently for over ten months now. Sharing my entries and things I’ve learned about myself for this last period of time has been good for me. It’s helped me to process some of my shitty patterns, helped me to let go of things I don’t want in my life, and helped me to see the light that shines in it too. I’ve been sharing a lot about my daily gratitude practice and while I want to share that still, but I’m going to change it up a smidge. I am going to reflect on my entries and find the light in them now, looking back. It’s gotten easier for me to see joy in the moments, but it’s still a bad habit to reflect back and be a pessimist feeling like it’s “always” awful. I know that ultimates aren’t real, but my irrational subconscious brain likes to tell me otherwise. Thank you trauma! I want this to be your reminder that if you have failed moments, you still are making progress, just like I am. We’ve got this!
🖤The 2nd of October🖤 <- That’s how I doodled it in my journal
Ian got his elk today. The stress getting there is gone but now there is the new stress of what is next? We have to go back and tear down camp and soon it will be just Rick and I at home again. I am happy for that, I like our little bubble. It has been good to meet parts of his family and I can’t wait for him to meet mine. It has been good to see the rough spots and to also see the love he carries for more than just himself.
Today I asked my boss if I could hang some of my photos to sell in the restaurant and he said yes! I am excited to dig into that a bit once Ian goes home.
Also today, I reached out to Troy and set up some new boundaries that I believe are important for closure, or even just moving forward. We are both ready to finalize the divorce. It makes me sad to see a chapter close but also joyful to know nothing will be holding me back from this new one.
[Reflection]
SOOOO much goodness, I saw so much positivity here. Only blimps of sadness, which shows me growth. It shows me that if I dig into it, the light shines brighter than the darkness.
The 3rd and 4th
The good bullet points The bad ones
- Packed out elk camp with the horses – Packing out with backpacks on horseback is hard
- Got to do that with my Lovey – I’m sad the horses are leaving soon
- I enjoy being helpful – Double shifts are hard
- Rick is such a helpful loving human – The short road home was closed
- The horses were champions
- We made it down from elk camp
- I am attached to the big pasture puppies
- Brunch was steady
- Waited on a lot of big groups
- I’m starting to find my rhythm behind the bar
- Waited on a lot of fun people
[Reflection]
Sad feelings are hard, and negative thoughts/feelings can blind us from all the good. That’s why I learned with each negative thought should be countered by at least five positive ones. It helps to train our brain to look for the good.
James’ 20th Birthday – 10.05
It feels hard to be away from him, especially after last year’s fail. It helped to have Ian ask for pancakes today. I enjoy doing Mom stuff. It makes me sad to have missed out on so much of the last bit of time James lived at home. Acts of service are my fave way to share love.
[Reflection]
It doesn’t matter if it’s been a year, or twenty, Mom guilt is a thing that seems to always be a sensitive spot. Hindsight is 2020, seems to be a common theme in my life. I’m guessing it’s also something that presents in yours. The thing that never ceases to amaze me is social media, there is ALWAYS a video that shows you a better way to do things. I hope that my children aren’t offended with the insight I share from them. I wish I knew the things I know now, but I was working with what I knew then, and can only hope that they have learned from my mistakes.
October 13th…
Yesterday was a good day for me. I finally logged my August blog post, even got most of my September post done. I realized that I want to start doing a monthly intention or goal. This month is half way over but I want the intention to be focus on my creative goals. I want to have my photos hung up at Trailhead by the end of the month. Yesterday I got eight prints ordered, four are 14×11 and four are 8×8. It felt good to just do it. Rick helped me by picking his faves and then I picked some of mine. My favorite photos are of him, but I’m not printing those. I want to start figuring out more creative ways to embellish my photos so they stand out in a crowd. I also need to start working on a bio to hang with my photos. It feels good to have support, but also to receive positive feedback on some of the photos I’ve share on my social media lately.
[Reflection]
#avoidant I did everything I could to stay busy that day. Btw my therapist said I have a disorganized attachment. I’m a little anxious and avoidant depending on the circumstances. Which I totally agree on. It’s always been easier, not better for me, to avoid the hard shit. I have learned that sometimes you’ve gotta feel the feelings. If you just keep covering them up, they eventually boil over and fuck everything up. So, I felt them, I just didn’t talk about it. I tried to keep the focus on what was shiny in my life. Let me tell you, my life is shiny AF right now. Wanna know why??? Cause I communicate the things that are connected to feels. It is super hard, but being in a safe place, helps that.
Deer Hunting Opening Day… 10.15
Woke up to lots & lots of fog! Didn’t, and couldn’t see any deer, until almost 9am and it was on our way back to camp. Saw a descent buck, but I was ready for breakfast.
Ended up going out again and found the same buck. Rick took a shot, even though he thought he’d miss. We continued following them and he took another try but missed. Took that as his sign that the buck wasn’t the one. I got a lot of great photos. I’m excited to see them edited. 🙂
[Reflection]
Sometimes the shit teaches patience for the good. Yeah, I could expand on that, but I think that’s enough.
October 20th
The last couple of days were pretty rough. Saturday we both got upset and could only text, and that made it exponentially worse. Plus I started shark week, which means I’m less rational. Yesterday I was sure I’d be going back to Oregon. Then we both went to the gym and decompressed a little bit. We ended up going to the corn maze and played some kiddie games. We also got pumpkins to carve. I truly do love him. I also love that I bring out a side of him that no one else does. We really do compliment each other. I do believe that we need to learn how to manage the anxiety of our past relationships that makes our time separate a little nerve wracking…
[Reflection]
Your current relationship, is not your past relationships. Also, texting, is NOT actual communication. I already learned that, but old habits die hard when you’re in a triggered response. Emojis are not enough to match tone or facial expressions in conversation. Period.
October 23rd
Well fuck, back to the mushy stuff…
Sometimes the puzzle pieces fit magically, today feels like one of those days. Time at the gym with my lovey felt great, even though I had crummy sleep. Then work started slow and I may have dreaded the day, but it ended great. Had an awesome salad for dinner and even got to enjoy putting together my costume for Saturday. Maddie asked me to take photos of her and her guy this Sunday, which I’m excited to be able to have fun and learn with that. I even got my photography bio prints in the mail. I’ll probably take them to hang up tomorrow. PLUS there is an aerial silks class at the new gym on Mondays. Life feels REALLY DANG GOOD 🤍🤍🤍
🤍Don’t give up now, chances are your best kiss, your hardest laugh, and your greatest day are yet to come. 🤍 Love Her Wild, Atticus, page 196
[Reflection]
Stuff happens, it’s how you choose to respond to said stuff. Looking back at this month has made me realize that literally one out of 31 days was in conflict, not the dangerous kind. Those are really good odds. I’ll take one day out of thirty one. I guess, I should say that sometimes a boundary is broken that requires a huge decision. For instance, back in the day, all it took was one physical action to make me realize that I deserved better. If you are in a position where someone is hurting you, get the fuck out. Love doesn’t hurt. Not like that.
October 27th
Friday we hung up my photos at the Colonel, which is the music venue connected to the Trailhead. Saturday we dressed up and went to a costume party. I painted Rick’s face and he was such a good wolf. I love feeling like I’m the only person in the room when we are together. He activates my mind and body on so many levels. Sunday was spent mostly lazy due to feeling hungover… I ended up taking Maddie’s family pictures in the evening tho. I’m really glad I did too.
[Reflection]
Alcohol… It has moments that are fun, but it also usually means the next day isn’t so fun. It can even throw off a whole week for me. I need to remember that. I need to remember that if I am going to drink, I need to focus on maintaining other good habits. Eating less junk, drinking more water, staying active, you know the good stuff. Oh and positive thinking…
October 30th
I’m trying to get back into healthier habits. The season change and time away from my kiddos has been tough. I miss them a lot. A James hug sounds pretty good right now. He’s always the best hugger. I really hope that Damien’s baby is born by xmas so we get to meet her before our trip. I’m not sure how to process loving being here and also missing them. I know it’s not reasonable to think I’d see them all the time if I lived there, but I would likely see them more than I do now.
[Reflection]
I believe the way to mend the missing my kids and loving it here is to talk to them more. Making the time to text, ask questions, call, anything really is better than nothing. Sitting and thinking about missing them doesn’t help, but hearing their voices, or even getting pictures of them and their littles is a huge win. Action does a lot more for me than that crummy sad thought loop.
END OF THE MONTH…
October really opened my eyes to how much being intentional is needed for me. If I don’t have a plan, I fail. It doesn’t have to be a fully detailed execution list, but having one attainable piece laid out as a goal. That got me there and there sure as hell was a lot of fun mixed in between. Thinking and living in ultimates is a very closed minded way to be. Sometimes stepping outside of that brings the best changes. It sure helps to have a great support network.
The Hunter’s Month – September 2025
Two months in Wyoming, and here comes the real test… Rick is headed to elk camp, for the month. Holy fuck nugget! Thank goodness for Starlink. 😅 I decided to put my gratitude with every post because I had a lot of hard feeling this …
August 2025
Okay, what the heck??? We are already in the eighth month of the year and I’m not sure how to feel about it. It seems as though life has evolved so significantly in the last bit of time that it seems unrecognizable to what it …