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Due to the fact that I’m sort of a self proclaimed jack of all trades, you could be here because you are interested in outdoor adventures, recipes, or just plain ol healthy living. Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re here!
Recent Posts
March 2025
Three months down. The majority of what I’ve heard is right, things are feeling better. The feeling of my heart falling out of my chest has gone, sadness still has moments, but on the lower percentage of things. I’m seeing more light than dark. That’s …
February 2025
Every month seems to add a bit of growth. I met someone last month and this month, it’s kinda blown my mind how much fun I’ve had relearning my value. Guilt is a terrible thing and feeling ashamed of my actions led me to a dark place. Not just internally but with pretty much every connection I have. Taking the time to do things I enjoy again, along with diving into the why of my shadow traits has been freeing. Sometimes acknowledging our needs and realizing we deserve all the goodness despite our shit show is hard to do.
I’ve realized that comfort is a motivation killer. I hardly journaled this month because I’ve been finding joy in a lot of little things. Have there been lows, there sure as hell have, but I’m ruminating on them less. Do I still struggle with the loss of a 19 year relationship? Of course I do, but it’s no longer dictating my every move. I’m starting to focus on the possibility of a brighter future. Looking into going back to school, doing wildland firefighting this summer, and investing in learning new hobbies has been life changing.
Therapy
I have two therapists. One of them is the therapist my ex and I used for couple counseling. The other is a less conventional but I’m seeing so much good. It will probably never stop blowing my mind how powerful our thoughts are, and how they can lower our energy or raise it up. One of my favorite things to get from therapy is homework. Sessions are amazing because most of the time I get an emotional release of some sort, but really being able to work on stuff throughout the week is the most important. The battle of self is won in the daily habits.
Self love/acceptance is something I struggle with. One of my therapists has me doing mirror affirmations. Remember how I shared about the high-five in the mirror? This is kinda that, but on steroids. It’s pretty challenging to look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself you’re loved and believe in yourself, when you don’t really. But we all should because we are all unique and amazing in ourselves.
Mirror – Day 1
- Throughout the day each time you pass a mirror or see your reflection, please repeat these affirmations, even if you have to do it silently.
- Stand or sit in front of your bathroom mirror.
- Look into your eyes.
- Take a deep breath and say this affirmation: “I want to like you. I want to really learn to love you. Let’s go for it and really have some fun”
- Take another deep breath and say, “I’m learning to really like you. I’m learning to really love you”
- This is the first exercise, and I know it can be a little challenging, but please stay with it. Keep taking deep breaths. Look into your eyes. Use your own name as you say, ”I’m willing to learn to love you, [Name, I’m willing to learn to love you]”
… 02.03.2025 …
Journal pic because sharing the chaos of my brain might help you accept yours. <3
Gratitude
My most recent morning routine addition has included meditation and gratitude. Spending time with positivity and focusing on the things I am grateful for has been really good for me. Starting out the day listing out ten things that I am grateful for, even if it starts with a small gratitude tends to increase with each thought.
… 02.23.2025 …
- Music and dance 💃🪩🕺
- Colors
- Creative play aka kandi
- Kissing 😘
- Waking up to a smiling face
- Cheesecake in bed 🧁
- Weekend getaways
- Cozy sweatshirts
- Meeting new people
- Love 💗
Meditation right off the bat was hard. I didn’t really enjoy the video, but I sat naked on the bed and feel like that was growth. Self acceptance is a slow but worthy journey. It helps to have amazing people in my life that help me see the light of me. <3
Looking for joy, the positives, the good things, sure makes them seem more abundant. I know my hyper focus is on Jason right now, but so much good seems to show up when we are together. You attract your energy, and I love our energy. He makes me smile, and I do the same with him. I like that a lot. I like the vulnerable moments we have together. I feel safe with him. Having someone hear me, and talk things out in a way of looking for understanding is pretty rad.
… 02.25.2025 …
- Pockets of blue sky
- Dino tattoos
- A partner in crime
- Silly dog walks
- Finished blog posts
- Poetry
- “Honey, I’m home!”
- Being helpful
- Being included in life
- Meditative reflection
It’s getting close to being three months since he asked for divorce. I am sad for the disconnect of our family, but I am grateful for the new life I am living.
I want connection that is present in my life. I want to feel safe to be myself, and be the joyful person I truly am. I want to be able to share who I am and not worry that it will have a trauma response type consequence.
I live not to be put in someone else’s box. I don’t fit anyone’s mold because I am my own unique being. Is there really such thing as an original anymore? Probably not but I am enjoying my expression. There’s a certain peace in knowing that I am in control of me, and other people get to choose how they feel about it, but it’s not anything for me to worry about anymore.
Book of the Month
I had pre-ordered this book hoping it would arrive in December. It wasn’t supposed to be here till February so I cancelled the order. I ended up getting it on Audible and I have to say, I wanted it to help me through my break up, but it has helped me in so many ways. Understanding friendships, kids, family, expectations… Amazalicious! I’ve still got a couple chapters to go before finishing it, but so far it has been life changing.
Reflection
There are no real guidelines on when is too soon. No real guidelines to tell how to transition from point A to point B. No way to really know when is the right time. And healing is not linear. Sometimes I struggle with the guilt of loving more than one person, and then I remember that I love big, and I love multiple family members. It’s okay to love my ex in a different way than it was, and it’s okay to love someone new. It’s all about boundaries and how I move forward. I want to be true to myself, and no one else knows how to do that for me. It’s learning how to navigate new, and I’m here for it.
January 2025
… 2025 …Pause. Reflect. Act. I have the choice. Feelings that come and go, are no longer allowed to be the leader of my life.
What’s the right track?!?
Seven years ago I hopped on the “I wanna be a badass” train. I focused heavily on exercise, eating healthy, drinking water, and avoiding just about anything that caused my body harm. Well, last year was a doozy, and for the first time I found myself questioning what the point was. I signed up for wildland fire fighting and ate terrible, lost sleep, and basically lost my motivation, or energy, to push myself towards “perfection.” Kinda weird that something everyone views as badass made me feel differently. That’s not saying I don’t think fire fighters are badass, BECAUSE THEY ARE!
That brings me to today. I’ve found a love, or comfort, in my body not being a lean mean fighting machine. I’ve found comfort in some of it being softer, mostly because the people I’ve spent time with seemed to appreciate me, whether my body was rock hard, or not. (Self worth issues, for sure!)
BUT I’ve also realized that I’m wearing down. I don’t have the energy like I did before, and my skin is definitely starting to show it’s age. While I’d love to say I don’t suffer with body dysmorphia anymore, that’s just not true. It still rears it’s ugly little head when I’m getting ready to go out dancing on the town. I change my outfit ten times, and I often revert back to my first outfit and end up feeling great in it. So, I’ve decided to reflect on the things that I know make me feel my best. Not just visually, but internally too.
I’ve talked with you guys about depression before, it’s not new news that’s it’s something I struggle with seasonally, and sometimes longer. This may be TMI, but last year, I got the IUD and it leveled out my hormones. Literally felt like the week after I got it, I leveled off and my depression went away. It also brought a lot of baggage with other things though, and I had it removed recently. Part of my want to feel my best is contributed to that. Just like having it put in, taking it out, I felt an almost immediate change. Finding balance is necessary. I know that hormones can be affected by gut health, and I know that I’ve been neglecting that too, so eventually that will get added into my focus.
I’m not saying that I’m committing to becoming a badass with my workouts and nutrition, but I want to be more intentional with my day to day choices. And sharing with my people helps me to stay accountable. Routine, helps me stay accountable. I need more of that in my life, for me…
If you have a minute, check out this video on YouTube. It’s a great giver of perspective.
What’s my plan?
Wake up earlier!!!
I know that I feel my best when I get up and start my day productively. It’s easy to stay snuggled up in bed and let the day fly away, but I don’t want that. I want the most out of my days.
Movement
Daily! Whether it be weights, hiking, dancing, HIIT, roller skating, whatever. I’ll say that I’ve noticed the most change when I’m using weights, so that will likely be my go to. I wish it wasn’t so easy to be a couch potato because there are too many things to enjoy in life.
Skin care
This has the potential of sounding vain, but I need to take care of my skin. I’m no spring chicken anymore and I prefer to keep a youthful appearance as looong as I can. I moisturize my face twice a day, why wouldn’t I do the same for the rest of the skin on my body?
Also, once a week I plan to do a salt scrub. I learned how to do this at a health retreat. My skin felt amazing each time I did it.
Salt Scrub
- 1/2 cup epsom salt
- 1/2 cup table salt, sometimes I’ll use Dead Sea salt
- A couple drops of water
- Optional couple drops of essential oil, like tea tree oil or lavender
Mix ingredients in a bowl and then hop into the shower. Rinse off with hot water for a few minutes to open up your pores. Turn it off and take a handful of salt, scrubbing it from your feet to your face, if your face isn’t too sensitive. Use common sense. Once all the salt has been used, shower like normal.
Skin feels baby smooth! Added benefits are the epsom salt helps you feel relaxed. I’m always in a great mood after a salt scrub.
Drink… Water
My goal used to be a gallon. I’m not going to set that goal. I’m not even going to put a number on it. Water has too many good benefits to allow myself to not be good about drinking it.
First thing in the morning… One quart of warm water with juice from 1/2 a lemon.
Throughout the day, try to drink water every hour. When it’s hot out, that’s not typically a problem. When is cold, I like warm water, that’s not a problem either. It’s the in between days when I’m not sweating or cold that it’s harder.
Also, I’ve been drinking alcohol. Not that I’m abusing it, but I should limit it to less than it’s been. #depressant #emptycalories
Eat, duh.
It’s funny how being plant based, you’d assume I eat a lot of veggies. Well, I’ve been neglecting those. Carbs are easy to find when you eat out.
Time to start cooking, and prepping food again. I’m going to aim for a schedule like below, but I’m not aiming for perfection. I opted for dinner as a smoothie because I typically want a treat, or snack in the evening and this gives me a healthy option, kinda like having ice cream. It’s finding the little tricks like this to help make eating a more successful journey.
Breakfast, fruits.
Lunch, veggies.
Dinner, smoothie/protein.
Include nuts and seeds for brain health!
Update: One Week In
Has it been perfect? Heck to the no. But I feel really good. I opted to do a 3 day juice and raw food type cleanse to start the week and even though I felt a little brain dead a couple of days, it was a great kickstart to this. I’ve gotten in a workout almost every day, even got in rollerskating a couple times on top of my workouts. On Tuesday I did my salt scrub and even though I had a crappy start to my work shift, I didn’t let it get to me. Another thing I’ve remembered is that health not only comes in the physical but the mental with being creative for me. So I’m working on incorporating creativity into each week. Life is fluid and I’m learning more and more each day to go with the flow, while also making space for my needs. I’d love to hear any tips or tricks you use to help keep yourself moving forward with your health, and/or life goals. <3
Cheat Day aka Treat Day Tips
You guys know I’m a sugar junkie. I love it ALL. It’s now holiday food season, and I figured it might be helpful to prepare for all the treats. If I allow myself a cheat/treat day, I tend to behave myself better through out the …
Creatine!!!
A while back, I decided to do a 12 week program focusing on preparing for a pretend physique show because I want to learn. When I learn, I like to share because it helps me remember. I had looked up creatine and many other performance …
Broccoli Cheeze Soup
I love broccoli, and I used to LOVE cheese. I used to buy the big ol’ brick of Tillamook cheese on the regular. Nachos, quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches, those were my jam. Transitioning to vegan, the first year, I didn’t love the fake cheeses. I’ve since learned that fake cheeze has to just be appreciated as something else, although replacements have gotten a lot better. My current favorite cheese alternative is the Chao Tomato Cayenne flavor. I saw broccoli was on sale the other day and bought a couple big bags, decided since the rain was coming back, why not make my old favorite, broccoli cheese soup. I’ve never actually made broccoli cheese soup before and decided to look up a few recipes for inspiration. After getting a basic idea, I started throwing it together. I gotta say, I’m impressed with myself. I hope you enjoy this recipe too. And if you find a way to make it better, I’m all ears.
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Ingredients
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- 1/2 medium Yellow Onion, chopped
- 3 cloves Garlic , chopped
- 3 medium Carrots, chopped
- 2 stalks Celery, chopped
- 2 cups Russet Potatoes, peeled and cubed
- 6-8 cups Vegetable Broth Start with the 6 cups and extra to the end if you'd like your soup thinner.
- 1 tsp Salt
- 3/4 cups Nutritional Yeast
- 1/2 cup Raw Cashews
- 2 tbsp Lemon Juice
- 3 cups Broccoli, chopped
Ingredients
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Instructions
- Sauté chopped onions in olive oil for a couple minutes. Then add chopped garlic and cook until onions are soft.
- Add in carrots, potatoes, celery, and vegetable broth. Bring to a boil and simmer until the potatoes poke easy with a fork.
- While potato mix is simmering, steam the broccoli and set aside until the last step.
- Place potato mixture, nutritional yeast, salt, cashews, and lemon juice into a blender and blend until smooth.
- Return to the pan and stir in the broccoli.
- Sprinkle with some cayenne pepper, if you please, and enjoy hot. 🔥
Everybody was WILDFIRE fighting…
Okay, maybe not everybody is doing it, but I am getting ready to start my first season. To say I’m a little excited is an understatement. It’s going to be REALLY hard work. Long, hot days. I’m going to stink like a sweaty camp sock, …
