Gemini Month B*tches .2025.

Birthdays are a mother f’er. Nothing like feeling older to help give you a swift kick in the direction of motivation. Seeing that life keeps on going, makes me want to keep on growing. Keep finding all the things that bring me joy and continue to disconnect from living in a way that compromises who I am, or who I want to be.

Not to go too deep, but my therapist said that I’m killing some goals. #boundaries #findingme I’ve started being creative again, started getting outside, and even been fighting for the things/activities that bring me joy. I know, on the outside, my bartender face makes you believe that it’s all sunshine and rainbows, but right now, I AM feeling those shiny things. 

Also, this is going to be more of a photo log than a words one. 📸

I’ve REALLY enjoyed outdoor photos this month 🖤

June 6th, My Birthday

I didn’t journal, BUT I went to a show that I wanted to see. I went with my brother and enjoyed the moment. Did I have some drinks? Yes, and I stopped drinking so I’d enjoy it without too much blurrrrrr. Music is definitely one of my life lines. It’s not always a dance party, but it’s a satisfying place. 

I used to hate my birthday because I placed so much of my peace on the people around me. It felt good to have a good time with zero expectations. Well, aside from cake. German chocolate from my mom and daughter. #winning

Friday the 13th

Communicating wants and hopes and dreams, but also talking about things we’ve learned about ourselves and past lives has been yummy. It’s weird to lay next to someone and have, even just snuggling, feel electric, a body high that isn’t sexual but satisfying. Like a calm and a storm all at the same time. It’s hard to know for sure, but I think he might be the one for me. He isn’t wild, which I like, but he appreciates my silly side.

June 16th

Um… I kicked his ass at go karts… that is all 🤪 What a fun way to spend his birthday.

June 17th

Growth may not always feel like it is happening. Today during meditation, it came to me that usually feelings are overwhelming, particularly the sad ones. While I am sad that Rick is going home, I have joy in him having been here, the ability to spend time with him on his birthday, and getting to see him before I go out for fire season. Knowing that he is here (not physically) thru the summer and happy to be with me when the season is over, is enough. I know I’ll miss him, but I know even more so that I am joyful to have him waiting for me. He is more than I’ve ever known I needed or wanted. The calm electricity I have felt over this small period of time gives me hope on all the levels.

Leo’s Birthday – Wild One – June 21st

The zoo, family, and of course cake! It’s crazy to see that it’s been a year already. His smiles and giggles are priceless. Being a Gigi brings me so much joy.

JUST SEND IT!

June 23rd

Okay. Lots of mushy thoughts this day, not going to share all of them, but what I am going to share is sometimes you’ve just got to do what brings you joy because tomorrow isn’t promised.

I chose to fly out to Wyoming yesterday and while it made me a little nervous that I might miss a fire call (I didn’t), I saw 3 bald eagles on the drive to the airport. That made me think of my “grandpa.” He would have loved that I’m chasing an adventure.

Gratitude: Meditation, sunny mornings, sunsets, snuggles, love <3, an able body, traveling, my baby doggy, lemon water, and kindness.

I SENT IT!

Reflecting

My activities and focus shifted a lot this month. I have never felt more content as me than I do today, July 3rd. I’m learning how much people affect me, that being in contact with people who have high anxiety triggers mine. It’s so weird to feel everything. I used to think feeling everything everyone else was feeling and accepting it, even though I was drowning, was the answer, but it’s not. I don’t have to be around people who don’t make me feel good, and I sure as fuck don’t need alcohol, or substances, to be happy either. I don’t have to weather the large windows of chaos for the small droplets of sunshine. It’s okay to choose the things that bring me peace and calm. It’s not the crazy lifestyle that feeds my soul. It’s the walks in the woods, creative outlets, calm communications, healthy habits, drinking water, and feeding my mind with positive influence that does.

If there is anything I can say to encourage anyone who is going through a divorce/breakup, it’s keep going. You are now in control of where your life goes. You can either look for the shit of it, or you can find the joy in small victories and continue to find more of them. Also, when you decide you’re ready to look for a relationship again, the chaos you’ve been living with will feel like home, maybe it’s the calm one that is actually the safety you need. Don’t settle!