F*ck 2024
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Okay, maybe not fuck it. Was it all bad? Not at all. The year sure ended with a bang for me. Let’s be honest with each other, huh?
Sometimes it takes crap happening to make us realize that change is needed. I’ve been stuck in a loop of terrible behaviors for as long as I can remember. I’ve been trying to heal my abandonment wound with people, and yet I’ve been so afraid of connecting, that I have hurt people I greatly care about. I’ve recently been on the hunt for tools to help me move forward, get out of my shame, and live a newer better lifestyle. THERAPY here I come, time to dig deep, and share what I’m learning because teaching always helps me to hammer it into my thick skull!
What has stemmed this quest for change? Divorce. Was my marriage happy? Perfect? What I truly desired? No. Was it his fault? Was it mine? Yes, and yes. Both of us had our faults, and both of us are desiring to grow. We both care about each other, and we both want to see friendship as a possibility. Right now though, it’s about healing. We all have things that we wish we could sweep under a rug and forget about, but I’m learning that’s not the way. Sometimes that feels more overwhelming than I can even explain, it’s like my whole world has exploded and I can’t see the light to get out of the cave. Is it safe to think in ultimates? No, so I’ll just keep trucking along, focusing on the now, and the things I am in control of. Focusing on making the baby steps that help me to find change.
What am I using for growth?
Youtube, a therapist, self reflection, my psychological astrological profile, books, a hypnotist, chakra work, journaling, positive affirmations, even jokes… How do I know which thing is working? I might not know which contributes, but it all has possibilities for improvement. If it’s the accumulation of things, or even one of those things working, I’m finding joy in the process of learning. That’s enough reward for me.
Favorite YouTube Channels
Psychology Based
- The Healthy Gamer – He is amazing, and easy to listen to.
- This VIDEO has him as guest on another great YouTubers channel.
- Esther Perel – She talks a lot about relationships.
- This VIDEO is the one that led me to her.
- Gabor Mate – He doesn’t have an individual YouTube that I’ve been able to find. This VIDEO is probably one of the most influential ones I’ve watched.
Inspiring
I found The Let Them Theory created by Mel Robbins, and she has been pretty amazing aside from just advice on getting over a breakup. I can’t wait to start listening to the book next. This VIDEO kinda gives the gist of theory, kinda long, but if you have the patience I recommend it. Otherwise, look at her shorts. SO GOOD!
Sleep Hypnosis
I usually type in self love, trauma healing, positive thinking, heal a broken heart, abandonment issues…. along with sleep hypnosis.
Something I’ve learned is that the intention you go to sleep with will set your mind off on a path for your subconscious to follow. I struggle to stay optimistic, and going to bed on a negative, or sadness, helps me stay in that pattern. I’ve started listening to different sleep “hypnosis” videos to sleep. I’m not sure if it is actually contributing, but it doesn’t seem to be hurting.
Positive Affirmations
I try to wake with positive influence. That means NOOOOO social media till I’m out of bed and found joy in my morning. I like listening to positive affirmations while I get ready, but also enjoy them when I’m going to bed.
Current Book
It’s easy to get stuck ruminating on what could have been, or what I should have done differently. That kind of worry doesn’t bring progress. It only brings more sadness and less joy. This book is really helping me to see that life is NOW. It’s the time to focus on because that is what we can work on.
Current Favorite Joke
What better way to heal than finding the funny stuffs?
Why do women fart after they go pee? Because they can’t shake it, so they have to blow dry…
You’re welcome for that.